Healing resentment in relationships: Therapist shares a guide

Healing resentment in relationships: Therapist shares a guide

  25 Dec 2023

Resentment and frustration can happen in a relationship due to multiple reasons. One of the most prominent reasons for resentment is unmet needs over a period of time. “Instead of dwelling on shortcomings, we must learn to communicate about them. Resentment will not go away unless one comes to an acceptance of the shortcoming or it is addressed.⁠ Remember, you are responsible for where you place your focus, identifying and communicating your feelings and needs, and setting boundaries in your relationships,” wrote Therapist Jordan Green. “Approaching the conversation in this way invites collaboration, intimacy, and bonding. Conversations coming from a ‘me versus you’ mentality create distance and bring defensiveness and hurt feelings. ⁠Remember, you are on the same team. A team that you love.,” the expert further added.

Healing resentment in relationships: Therapist shares a guide(Unsplash)

Acknowledge and identify: the first step of addressing resentment in a relationship is understanding why it is happening. We can delve deep and find out the specific events and actions that acted as triggers in accelerating this feeling of resentment.

Open dialogue: We should create a healthy space for open, honest conversation. Instead of placing blame, we should be patient and try to understand the two sides of the story.

Practice empathy: As important it is to communicate our emotions; we should also hold space for the partner and understand the way they are feeling. Creating a space with empathy helps in dissolving barriers and effective problem-solving.

Create a plan: For future actions, we should have a detailed plan of approaching such events or actions that can trigger resentment. We should initiate positive changes and find a common ground to settle in.

Forgiveness: this is a powerful tool to foster healthy and happy relationships. We should be able to forgive our partner and try to focus on their positive side.

Cultivate gratitude: We should be thankful and make an effort in communicating our gratitude to the partner.

Prioritise self-care: We should be able to take care of ourselves and our mental health. Only when we are happy with ourselves can we keep the partner happy in a relationship.

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